Hurray I'm One

Hurray I'm One

Sunday, April 24, 2011

Please pray

It's 1:40 Easter morning and once again I am at the hospital with Ami. Josh said something earlier today that really made me think; Ami has been sick for half of his life. He doesn't know what it's like to breathe like we do. He doesn't know what it's like to not have to take some sort of medicine everyday. He doesn't know what it's like to not go to the doctor at least once a month.
Someone told me that being married is the hardest thing I will ever do. I don't know about that. It's pretty hard watching people stick your son with needles. It's pretty hard watching your son be put into a restraining device so he can have his 5th chest x-ray. It's pretty hard watching your son literally pass out and go full body limp in your arms so he can have a CT scan. Most of all it's pretty hard being told that well your son doesn't have this terminal disease but he might have this one, lets run some test. I'm to the point that I don't want to know what they are testing him for, so that way I can't google it. The worst part is that he takes it so well. All the nurses keep saying "Oh, he's doing so good!", or "most babies really fight us on this." He should fight; he shouldn't be used to all of this. He is such a good baby. He is happy, he likes to play by himself, he's funny, and sweet. He super smart, almost too smart.
The worst part there is nothing I can do about any of this. I can't make it better. I can't protect him from it.
Since Friday he has had two chest x-rays, at least 6 vials of blood drawn, a finger prick, sedation, and a CT scan. Most of the tests had to be sent out so we won't get results on them for a while. On Tuesday he will be having a scope put into his lungs. Later in the week we maybe heading to St. Louis for a lung biopsy.
I am ready for some answers. I am ready to go home. I am ready to have a healthy baby.
Please pray for him. He needs it so badly, because nothing else is working.

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