Smiles and Finger Nails

Today was a day for some firsts for mommy. Ami never smiles for me. He'll talk to me all day long but smiles not so much. Well not today! We talked and smiled all morning. It made me so happy. He also let me cut his finger nails with clippers, while awake! Josh was making fun of me because my hands were shaking so much but I did it. Robin will be so proud of me...He hasn't had a fever all day. I've decided that I really don't like shots. Ami got to see Grandma, Grandpa, Great Grandma, and Great Grandpa yesterday. Mommy got to go out with Lindsey last night and see a movie. I also got my hair cut. Nothing major, just layers. Tomorrow and Tuesday are going to be long days for both of us. Ami's thrush is much better. The white patches in his mouth are gone but he still has to take the medicine for another 9 days. I went through his clothes today to sort out the ones that are too small, and I came across the outfit they put him in when he was born. I can't believe how little it is. He has grown so much in 2 months. I know they say kids grow up fast but good god does it have to be that fast. I'm pretty sure at this rate he's gonna be walking in a few weeks. I'm excited to see him grow and change and do new things but then again I dread it.  I know that one of these days he's not going to want to cuddle with me, he's not going to want to hold my hand, he will rather hang out with his friend's parents than his own, he will scream that he hates me and wishes he was never born. He will be one of those kids I saw standing on the corner downtown some where with a hoochy girl in his arms. It makes me sad and leaves me hoping tomorrow gets here slowly. So for today I will let my son sleep on my chest, I will blow raspberries on his little pot belly, and pretend to eat tiny toes. I will change every poopy diaper with a smile on my face and gladly wear clothes that smell of spit up.